Controlling Your Ego and Motivating Your Students

Team Zenler Author

Jul 17, 2024 |

Welcome to this blog, today we want to talk all about you! Your mood, your energy and your ego.

Servicing Our Students and Not Letting Our Ego Control Us

We need to remember as instructors we are there to service people's needs with our knowledge and support their success.

Boosted Ego

You can build a large fan base of students who truly love you, and this can lead to a significant ego boost. Remember, no one knows everything, not even you. We are constantly learning new things, or at least, you should be.

You Are in a Servicing Role

Do not let your ego control your actions; you need to make sure you are servicing and not commanding it the right way. If you are saying something like this, back it up with evidence.

Your role is to motivate your students to excel and show interest beyond the money; this will lead to further upsells and show that you care about them on a personal level.

They Already Know You!

Remember, they have seen you in videos and live streams, so their communication with you will be with someone they already know, even though you may be a complete stranger to them. Be accepting and open to this, and it will help both you and them build a stronger relationship.

Falling into The Trap of Ego

All of the above may seem obvious to you, but we have all fallen into the trap of ego. Have you ever said, "I have been doing this for XXX amount of years, I think I know what I am talking about"? These sorts of answers are your ego taking off, causing a very negative reaction.
The people around you know your experience or education, so don't do this sort of thing. It's not good practice and is very un-zen.

So, How to Stop This from Happening?

First off, remember everybody needs an ego; it is what pushes you to be better, so in essence, it is not bad. It's only when it pushes to the forefront that it can be a problem.

Being aware of it is the first step. Learn to back anything you say with a case study to prevent your students from feeling bad for asking what, to them, is a valid question.

These Are My Thoughts

Now, what right do I have to tell you any of this? Yes, you would be right; I do not have a psychotherapist degree or education in this background. But what I do have is experience dealing with people and situations for years (not my ego talking, by the way :) ), and also, and this is key, being on the other side of the fence and observing behaviour from other instructors.

The answer is to be kind, understanding, patient, and compassionate.

Now, I do not intend to end this blog right here. I want an expert's view on this. So, drum roll, if you please, here is Liz, our Communication specialist and expert in this field, to either back me up (I hope) or disregard everything I have said (hopefully not).

Over to you, Liz...

Thanks so much, David, for the opportunity to co-blog with you again :-) I'll share some of my thoughts based on my personal experience and research, my roles as a Leadership Mentor, Life Coach, Entrepreneur, and Founder, and my training in NLP, Leadership, Coaching, Change Management, Timeline Therapy®, and Hypnosis.

Liz's Thoughts...

I absolutely agree that it's always important to lead yourself and others with kindness, understanding, patience, and compassion. These are the qualities of great leaders and will help you create deep and meaningful relationships with your clients/customers and everyone else throughout your Zenler work and life.

What is Ego?

Ego is a complex term with many slightly different meanings. For example, the dictionary describes it as your sense of self-esteem or self-importance. It can also be described as your conscious mind, or the aspect of yourself that comes to mind when you think about yourself.

The ego can easily mask underlying areas of personal development or emotional processing needs too. So it's always worth asking yourself, "What's underneath this?" any time you feel your ego coming to the surface in an imposing or uncontrollable way. Here, as always, if anything is too big to handle on your own, do reach out for support when you need it, as your emotional and mental health absolutely matter!

Motivational Support and Service

As a course and/or membership creator or coach, you get to ease your customers' or clients' journeys as best you can from a position of support, service, and motivation without judgment. You get to share your experiences and those of others with them as they take their own unique steps forward.

Staying Humble

Now, your audience is probably at least a few steps behind you in your subject area, so it's good to be humble and consider what would have supported you best when you were in their shoes.

When you take the time to remember your personal journey, consider that you only ever know what you know in any specific moment. You will then easily be able to stay humble. Although you may be an expert in a specific area now, you will have started out with the same blank slate as your customers when you began.

By working alongside them and meeting them where they are right now to help them, you will be able to forge great relationships. This will, in turn, encourage their ongoing support and maybe even result in referrals or repeat custom.

Plus, of course, even you will have an off moment where you forget something or you may be unaware of a new discovery, technique, or understanding, and this is absolutely human. So, when it happens, always strive to be kind and patient with yourself too!

Final Sign-off

Liz and I hope you enjoyed this blog post and that it helps you move forward as an online educator.

All the best

Categories: : Zenler Mindset/Motivational